Thumbs Down

Haven't written because I haven't been training.

My thumb is officially an issue. Tested it sparring a couple weeks ago, bumped it (didn't jam it, just made contact parrying a punch) and felt another electric pain in the base of my thumb. Could put some weight on it, but it was unbelievably sensitive to the touch to the point that I decided to just shut it down. Have cross trained a little since then, but not nearly as consistently as I'd like (need) to. Too broke and busy to get an MRI or X-Ray. A doctor would probably just tell me to shut it down and throw a splint on it anyway, so I saved myself the doctor's bill and took those steps myself. Time and relative rest does seem to be helping it heal, but the fact that it still has pain "flares" after 2 weeks (more than a month since it was initially injured) is troubling. Whatever.

You have no idea how irritated I get when I nudge it on something and have napalm shoot through the nerves in my hand. Fuming just thinking (and writing) about it. Which is silly. But I'm that frustrated and that restless to get back in the ring. Anyway...

This blog was founded largely to document how my profession would mesh with my boxing conquests. Well, right now, there's no meshing. It's been straight, pure conflict. And while I still love what I do in the office, well, I love what I do in the ring a bit more. Is that so wrong?

Work is throwing pretty long hours my way and it has become a chore to find the hours to even get to the gym during operating hours, let alone have the energy to drive myself to complete a full, satisfying workout. Perhaps it's a blessing in disguise - helping me avoid weight and contact and allowing (whatever the hell's wrong with) my thumb to heal. Or perhaps it's a royal pain.

Definitely feeling the latter.

Yesterday I canceled my August 15th fight. Haven't been training, definitely won't be "fully" training this week either, and I refuse to rush myself into a bout knowing beforehand that I'm incredibly unprepared. And hurt.

I mean, obvious decision, right? I don't know why I keep tying so hard to convince myself that it's the right decision.

Oh wait, I know why - because I don't want to.

But I need to. Need to heal. Need to train. Need to clear my frustrations, get on a better, more consistent schedule with a trainer, discipline myself now so I'm disciplined when I'm preparing.

Need to get back in there.